Am I with a right partner?

Am I with a right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the author.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

Provoked

You know the feeling when you decided to try on doing something that freaks you out and when you’re already there trying, some people would actually tell you *in your face that you can’t do it?It’s like finally getting as shirt that you badly wanted then gone out for some walk just to hear someone shout at you that you don’t look good in it. That’s how ironic life can be. But how do you wanted to deal with that? Are you gonna cry? Or shout? Or believe him? Earlier, I got these options in my mind but one thing prevails over me. It’s not him who badly wanted that shirt. It’s not him who saved money and time just to have it. It’s not him who feels happy to be finally wearing it. Just as long as I know that I’m happy to have it, forgetting what it’s like before getting it: the anxiety, the heartaches, and the disappointments that I've survived is not worthy compared to that opinion he said to make me want to regret what I have (and just so he knows, I WON'T). I’m happy and He’s not. That’s just how life is. 

you've got mail! haha

I was supposedly be eager to hear something from him since we’ll be seeing each other today but when I woke up this morning, I looked at my phone hoping that I received a text message from you telling me that you’re all fine (since you’re sick for almost 2 days now or 3????). I never expected my day to be the same… I called you, we talked and hanged up. You texted me that you’re having a headache and right now… I (again) was supposedly being anxious that he still doesn’t remember that we’ll be seeing each other today yet…. What I’m thinking at this moment is that I hope you’ll text me and tell me that you’re feeling better. K (seriously, pinakulam mo na ba ko?)

Honestly, it’s a bit relieving right now that I’m finally having someone to worry aside from him. It’s just sad that I still don’t know what I really feel about you. I’m a bit confused if it’s already bigger than “liking you” or what but having you around, talking to you or just even doing nothing with you makes me feel so safe and better. There are moments that the idea of US being together in the future run through my mind and you know, it’s kinda scary but my fear is being overrun with the thought of maybe, we could survive it.  What do you think? ( haha no pressure if you don’t wanna answer it. )

Sometimes when you’re telling me not be scared to take the risk (in love)…there is a part of me that wanted to tell you that “I will. If you’ll be there beside me…” ( I’m not saying that it should be you to whom I should fall in love with okay?? Cause I’m still open with the fact that maybe we’re just destined to be best of friends ….I just need you to stay beside while I’m in the process)… < I think I’m getting this habit of getting-used-to-having-you-around. K sorry. > But the thought of telling you that scares the hell out me.  You wanna know why? I think it’s because I’m not ready to hear your answer yet or even see your reaction. 

You are not the first guy to whom I became really honest with but you are the first guy to whom I could tell my secrets, fears and anxieties PERSONALLY WITHOUT BEING ASHAMED OF IT. You’re just very easy to talk to and I feel that every words and stories that I decided to tell you are safe and treasured. *Sometimes I even think of you as my living Diary. Haha. (SERIOUSLY!)

I don’t know what you are thinking right now after reading this because I know…my thoughts here are very random…but I want to end this by telling you… Thank you and I’m really happy right now that you’re my girl friend... I’m happy knowing that you’ll stay as long as I need you because I think I would be needing you for a very long time. I hope WE won’t change or if we do…WE’LL change and we'll become better persons and better friends. J

P.S. I want to say sorry for the times that I hurt and disappoint you. J But I really love bitting your arms…so… I guess the other letter that I’ll make will also contain this post script. J haha

so....

It’s not because I get too saturated with everything that makes me turn my back on to someone, but the fear of waking up one morning knowing that I already fall in love with him deeply and then he’s not feeling the same anymore. I’m too scared to be left behind that’s why I can’t take the risk…that’s the reason why I’m too scared to be inlove. 

I have experienced not being loved in return and it took me 5 years to realize that I'm wasting too much time hurting and waiting for someone who doesn't really care about me but being loved by the person you love and losing it just because I can't be anything he's asking for?....That I don't know if I could take.

I know... I'm not sweet... I can't be.. I just feel it's too unnatural if I tried too. I'm not that pretty, there's always someone better than me... somebody who could turn people heads around... someone who's skinnier and taller... Someone who you can brag about to anyone...and EVERYONE. I'm just too insecure and too fearful that one day you'll see her...and you would tell me that I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

I just don't want to feel it again....that I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH for someone :( cause honestly...I'm trying so hard to be a better person everytime.

Falling inlove makes people vulnerable. It drives them out of control-- of their emotions, of the situation...and I'm just too scared to not be in control... I'm too terified too feel the uncertainty of life... it just makes everything too frightening.. :((

a Letter...from Me, to You

Dear You,

I wrote this letter not to tell you that I’m still in love with you but rather to ask you what had actually happened to us? I know it’s kind of stupid but after years of thinking “when did our friendship fell apart?” still confuses me. I know that I had a big contribution as to why you go away. But as far as I remember, every time I asked you before to stay away from me, you always said NO. It made wonder, what did I finally do to make you realized that our friendship is not worth fighting for anymore? 

Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not ranting or blaming you for that. It’s just that I feel trapped on that moment. I feel guilty about the way that I acted just because I’m too scared to tell you that I’m falling for you. I’m very disappointed with myself because I think I betrayed you for feeling that way because you were my best friend. So please if you could still remember and if you could tell me those things that I missed, I would badly want to listen to it. I know that it might hurt me a lot but At least I would be freed from the questions that have been bugging me for years, so pleaseeeee would you help me to understand it just like what you always try to do whenever I can’t comprehend on some things before? Please be patient with me again.

PS.

Just so you know, I still think of you as one of my Best-est friend and I really miss messing around with you. I know it’s too impossible to ask if we could still be what we used to be after everything that happened but I hope that we could still be good friends someday.

Sincerely,

Me

AWESOME things for year 2012

I got this Idea from D but she calls it “Project 365” which is taking random pictures everyday for the whole year about things that interests her. I prefer to call mine “awesome things”, yes, like the book and the site 1000 awesome things. The first time I’ve read that site I was like, I hope I could also take pictures of things that I just find simply wonderful. So, I’m trying to work on it now. Enjoy!


These pictures caught memories that prove how simple moments could make someone’s day complete. :)


January 3, 2012_Tuesday

This was given by Z, when she went to Singapore this Christmas.

It’s funny when you got souvenirs from places that you’ve never been into. What’s Funnier is when that souvenir stated “ I LOVE “that place” ” hahahaha. AWESOME!






January 4_Wednesday

Dinner with friends @ Chickboy. 

Being reunited with friends that you've never seen for a long time and you started planning things that
You hate to think and to do before. FUNNY. AWESOME!






January 5_Thursday

First time visit at St Francis of Assisi Parish in Pasig.

It’s amazing how when I feel so hopeless and doubtful that when I go to church and pray, it seems like God is recharging my soul and I feel very much ok. It’s as if someone tapped your back and said “Worry no more. Everything is gonna be alright”. AWESOME!




January 7_Saturday

Shoes from Quiapo and some overpass. 

Realizing that you and your friends bought/have same things and you use it on a same day accidentally. AWESOME!

Celebrate paskuhan with a BAM!!!

Yes, It's BAM! I celebrated my last paskuhan with the first people who became my family at UST, my B.A.M family! I felt really happy and proud to be able to keep what we've had since our first year of stay as Thomasians up until now that we are graduating (I haven't mentioned that we're taking different majors since our 3rd year, so basically we've been blockmates for only two years *but It didn't stop there!).

We serve not only as classmates, friends and companions, we became each other's sisters and brothers. We fight, we tease each other, we laugh, and we don't sugarcoat words, yet we say it with care and love though sometimes it doesn't sound like it. lol.

BAMBOYS, CRAYOLA, GF's...these are our different subgroups. Cool right?! but together, we make ONE B-A-M!

Thank you Jana, Hannah, Ruthie, Roch, Rae, Nie, Vette, Aince, Meloi, Kae (ate shawie), Alysa, Jonas, Patrick, Rodel, Uchie, Kenneth, Billy, and Trevis! :)


PS: We always celebrate our paskuhan together from our first year to our last! YEY!. :)I'm hoping that this would not be our last paskuhan together. I so love you guys! :)