you've got mail! haha

I was supposedly be eager to hear something from him since we’ll be seeing each other today but when I woke up this morning, I looked at my phone hoping that I received a text message from you telling me that you’re all fine (since you’re sick for almost 2 days now or 3????). I never expected my day to be the same… I called you, we talked and hanged up. You texted me that you’re having a headache and right now… I (again) was supposedly being anxious that he still doesn’t remember that we’ll be seeing each other today yet…. What I’m thinking at this moment is that I hope you’ll text me and tell me that you’re feeling better. K (seriously, pinakulam mo na ba ko?)

Honestly, it’s a bit relieving right now that I’m finally having someone to worry aside from him. It’s just sad that I still don’t know what I really feel about you. I’m a bit confused if it’s already bigger than “liking you” or what but having you around, talking to you or just even doing nothing with you makes me feel so safe and better. There are moments that the idea of US being together in the future run through my mind and you know, it’s kinda scary but my fear is being overrun with the thought of maybe, we could survive it.  What do you think? ( haha no pressure if you don’t wanna answer it. )

Sometimes when you’re telling me not be scared to take the risk (in love)…there is a part of me that wanted to tell you that “I will. If you’ll be there beside me…” ( I’m not saying that it should be you to whom I should fall in love with okay?? Cause I’m still open with the fact that maybe we’re just destined to be best of friends ….I just need you to stay beside while I’m in the process)… < I think I’m getting this habit of getting-used-to-having-you-around. K sorry. > But the thought of telling you that scares the hell out me.  You wanna know why? I think it’s because I’m not ready to hear your answer yet or even see your reaction. 

You are not the first guy to whom I became really honest with but you are the first guy to whom I could tell my secrets, fears and anxieties PERSONALLY WITHOUT BEING ASHAMED OF IT. You’re just very easy to talk to and I feel that every words and stories that I decided to tell you are safe and treasured. *Sometimes I even think of you as my living Diary. Haha. (SERIOUSLY!)

I don’t know what you are thinking right now after reading this because I know…my thoughts here are very random…but I want to end this by telling you… Thank you and I’m really happy right now that you’re my girl friend... I’m happy knowing that you’ll stay as long as I need you because I think I would be needing you for a very long time. I hope WE won’t change or if we do…WE’LL change and we'll become better persons and better friends. J

P.S. I want to say sorry for the times that I hurt and disappoint you. J But I really love bitting your arms…so… I guess the other letter that I’ll make will also contain this post script. J haha